The Hardest Goodbye: Finding Peace After Suicide

💔 Before I begin, I want to say this gently and clearly: I mean no disrespect to anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide, I have not walked in your shoes. What I share here comes only from my own observations, intuition, and clinical experiences — never as an authority, only as a fellow human trying to make sense of the incomprehensible.

The Hard Truth: Intentional Suicide Isn’t the Easy Way Out

People often say that suicide is “the easy way out”, attaching shame and blame to such a tragic loss. I don’t believe in any of that.

From what I’ve seen and felt, it’s actually an incredibly hard thing to do — not just physically, but energetically and spiritually. The life force within us — our soul — is powerful, determined, and wired for survival. Even when the mind is clouded by depression and the body is too heavy to move, there is a spark of light deep within that wants to keep going.

That spark is often why many attempts do not succeed. It’s not failure — it’s the soul refusing to leave before its divine time.

And for those who do cross over, I believe there is a higher soul story at play — one we cannot fully comprehend from this side of the veil.Sometimes, their exit might hold lessons for the collective or for those they leave behind — lessons about love, forgiveness, or the fragile nature of human existence.

It’s not fair. It’s not simple. But perhaps it’s sacred in ways we can’t yet see.

The Psychology of Suicide: A Battle Between Mind and Soul

Psychologically, suicide is rarely about wanting to die. It’s more often about wanting the pain to stop.

When someone is deeply depressed or emotionally overwhelmed, their brain becomes trapped in survival mode. The prefrontal cortex (the part that reasons and plans) goes offline. The amygdala (the emotional alarm bell) is in overdrive. Everything feels hopeless.

In that space, the person can’t access perspective or possibility — only relief from unbearable suffering. It’s not a choice made in clarity. It’s made in collapse.

The Ones Left Behind: The Weight of “Why”

For those left behind, the aftermath of suicide can feel like standing in the ruins of a storm that no one saw coming.

Anger. Shock. Guilt. Betrayal.

And underneath it all — an aching love that doesn’t know where to go.

I’ve seen in my clinic that the pain of suicide doesn’t just fade with time; it embeds itself in the body. When grief isn’t expressed — when anger or guilt stays locked inside — it begins to affect physical health. Clients often describe exhaustion, autoimmune symptoms, heart palpitations, or digestive troubles that seem to echo the emotional trauma.

It’s as though the body is trying to process what the mind refuses to believe.

Here’s the irony that puzzles me: In trying to hold onto the person who died, or in refusing to forgive them for leaving, we sometimes shorten our own life span. The very act of carrying the pain becomes its own quiet form of self-destruction.

The Psychology of Forgiveness and Acceptance

Forgiveness is not about saying, “It’s okay that it happened.”It’s about saying, “I will no longer let this pain define or destroy me.”

Psychologically, forgiveness helps the brain transition out of chronic stress mode. It allows the nervous system to settle, cortisol to drop, and the body to begin healing. Acceptance doesn’t mean understanding everything — it means making peace with the mystery.

When we stop demanding answers, the heart begins to open again.That’s when true healing begins.

🌿 7-Day Guided Meditation Practice for Healing & Forgiveness

This is a gentle practice to help you reconnect with peace and possibly your loved one’s soul energy in a safe, loving way. Each day, set aside about 5–10 minutes, find a quiet space, and begin with the 4/6 belly breath — inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6 counts. Breathe into your lower belly, letting the exhale soften your body and heart.

Day 1 — The Gate

Close your eyes.Breathe 4 in, 6 out. Imagine walking through an old wooden gate into a secret garden — your soul’s sanctuary. Notice the colors, the air, the sounds.This is your safe space. You can return here anytime.

Day 2 — The Seat

Find a stone bench beneath a tree. Sit. Feel the warmth of the earth beneath your feet. With each breath, imagine releasing the heaviness of your grief into the soil, where it can transform into healing energy.

Day 3 — The Light

In the center of the garden, see a soft golden light begin to glow. It represents forgiveness — not yet directed at anyone, just the energy of possibility. Breathe it into your chest. Let it fill you.

Day 4 — The Invitation

When you feel ready, imagine calling your loved one’s higher self — the part of them that exists beyond pain or confusion. You don’t need to speak aloud. Just sense their presence. Perhaps they appear, perhaps not. Trust what comes.

Day 5 — The Conversation

Silently or aloud, say what has been unspoken.Let your heart speak freely — the anger, the sorrow, the longing. Then, listen, really listen with your heart. Sometimes what returns is not words, but warmth, light, or peace.

Day 6 — The Forgiveness

Place your hand on your heart. Say quietly,

“I forgive what I do not understand. I release the pain that keeps me tethered. I send you love, and I choose peace. ”Breathe deeply. Feel the release through your exhale.

Day 7 — The Return

Walk slowly toward the gate again.Turn back once and notice the garden glowing even brighter — a reflection of your healing. Know that you can return anytime you need comfort or connection. When you open your eyes, carry that light into your day.

🌸 Final Reflection

Healing after suicide isn’t about forgetting. It’s about integrating — holding both the love and the loss in the same heart .Over time, the pain softens. The love remains. And sometimes, if we listen closely enough, we might even feel our loved one cheering us on from the other side — proud that we chose to live, to forgive, and to keep the light of love alive.