Did somebody say emotions?

Emotions: Energy in Motion or a Pit of Despair?

Let’s start with something simple: the dictionary definition of “emotion.” According to the Oxford Dictionary, an emotion is "a strong feeling deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others." That’s a fairly tidy little explanation—but we all know it doesn’t feel that simple when we’re in the thick of it, right?

Now, let’s take a slight detour from the dictionary and go a little deeper.

What if emotions are simply energy in motion? Stick with me here. Emotions = E-motion. Energy. Moving. Shifting. Flowing. Just like wind or water or electricity. They come in, they do their thing, and they’re supposed to move through us. That’s the idea, anyway.

So, if emotions are just energy… why do we so often get stuck in them? Why can’t we just let them flow through us, thank them for the experience, and move on with grace and glitter? Why do we sometimes spiral into a pit of desperation, clinging to the sadness, the anger, or the fear like it’s an emotional life raft?

Well, grab a cuppa and settle in—because we’re going to explore this.

Where Do Our Emotional Patterns Come From?

Most of our emotional responses were not chosen by us consciously. They were shaped in childhood—before we had the language or logic to say, “Hmm, I seem to be developing an abandonment issue here.”

As children, we absorb emotional responses like little sponges. We watch how our caregivers respond to stress, joy, anger, disappointment, and even silence. If your mum slammed cupboard doors when she was overwhelmed, or your dad went quiet for three days, that got logged somewhere deep inside. We often carry these learned behaviors into adulthood, unconsciously repeating them.

But wait—there’s more! Some of our emotional responses may even be inherited. Ever heard of generational trauma? Or cellular memory? Science is starting to show that emotional tendencies—like anxiety or quick temper—can pass down through DNA. It’s not all nurture; sometimes it’s nature, too.

So here we are—grown-ups (mostly), trying to let “energy in motion” move through us, but also dragging around a suitcase full of childhood conditioning and ancestral echoes.

No wonder we get stuck.

Can We Learn to Let Go?

Yes. But not through avoiding emotion. Not through numbing out or trying to “stay positive” at all costs. (Please, no more toxic positivity—we’ve had enough of that, thank you.)

To truly let go, we need to increase our emotional intelligence.

That means building awareness of our emotions, understanding where they come from, and being able to name and navigate them without being pulled under.

So how emotionally intelligent are you?

💡 Quick Emotional Intelligence Quiz

Give yourself a score from 1 (never) to 5 (always) for each statement:

1. I can name what I'm feeling most of the time.

2. I can recognise what triggered my emotion without blaming others.

3. I know when an emotional response is old conditioning.

4. I’m able to sit with uncomfortable emotions without reacting immediately.

5. I rarely spiral into drama or victimhood during emotional lows.

6. I can return to calm fairly quickly after being emotionally triggered.

7. I can express my emotions without hurting others or shutting down.

Score Key:

• 7–14: Room to grow (and that’s okay!)

• 15–24: You’re building awareness and resilience.

• 25–35: Emotional Ninja! You're flowing with grace and insight.

  
  

Tips to Increase Emotional Intelligence

If you scored on the lower end—or even if you're doing okay but want to grow—here are a few ways to strengthen your emotional muscles:

1. Name it to tame it. Research shows that simply naming what you're feeling activates the thinking part of the brain and reduces emotional intensity. “I’m feeling rejected” is a lot more helpful than “Everything sucks and I want to hide under the doona forever.”

   
   

2. Practice observing, not identifying. You are not your emotion. You are the observer of it. Try saying, “There is sadness moving through me” instead of “I am sad.” That tiny shift creates spaciousness.

   
   

3. Trace it back. Ask yourself: “When have I felt this before?” Often, your current emotional reaction is 20% about now and 80% about something that happened in childhood. Awareness is power.

   
   

4. Move the energy. Emotions are energy, remember? So move your body. Dance. Walk. Shake it out. Cry. Laugh. Scream into a pillow if needed. Let it out.

   
   

5. Reparent your inner child. Speak kindly to yourself. Offer the love and validation you might not have received when you first learned how to “do emotions.” You’re not broken—you’re healing.

   
   

6. Use gratitude as a lens, not a bypass. You can be deeply uncomfortable and grateful at the same time. You can appreciate the experience without needing to enjoy the experience. That’s grown-up emotional alchemy.

The Power of Meditation in Emotional Intelligence

Meditation is one of the most transformational tools we have when it comes to developing emotional intelligence. It allows us to create a calm internal space—free from distraction—where we can witness our emotional landscape without judgment.

When we slow down and turn inward, we can begin to hear the quiet truths beneath our reactions. We build awareness, presence, and the capacity to observe emotions as they rise, rather than being swept away by them.

Over time, meditation helps us regulate our nervous system, tune into our body's signals, and respond with compassion rather than reactivity. It’s not about clearing your mind completely—it’s about meeting yourself with honesty and grace.

🌿 Simple Meditation to Process Emotions

Set aside 5–10 minutes. Find a quiet space. Sit or lie down comfortably. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

Then gently ask yourself the following questions—without needing immediate answers. Just stay open and curious.

1. “Where in my body am I holding this emotion?” Scan your body slowly. Notice any tightness, heaviness, or sensation. Place your hand there if it feels natural.

   
   

2. “How old was I when I first felt this emotion?” Let an age, memory, or image arise. Don’t force it—just observe what comes.

   
   

3. “Can I forgive or release this past connection so I can move forward?” Imagine sending love or light to that younger version of you. Let them know they are safe now.

   
   

4. “What do I need in this moment to transmute this emotion?” This could be a word, a color, a symbol, or a simple need—like rest, movement, or being heard.

   
   

5. “How can I stay peaceful as I witness this feeling?” Breathe into that place in your body. Imagine the emotion gently dissolving, like fog lifting from a field. Stay present with it, without trying to change it.

   
   

End your meditation by thanking yourself for showing up and being brave enough to feel. You can journal what you noticed, or simply carry that softness into the rest of your day.