For as long as I can remember, I have been accused of being too sensitive.
Too emotional, too reactive, too intense. I’ve been told to “toughen up” more times than I can count, asked to “not take things so personally,” and, on occasion, even accused of being unpredictable, moody, or explosive. But here’s the thing—doesn’t moodiness just stem from suppressed emotions that have nowhere else to go? Isn’t it the natural byproduct of feeling deeply but having no safe outlet to express those feelings?
I have spent years trying to navigate the complexities of my own sensitivity while coexisting with those who, at times, seem emotionally tone-deaf. The ones who brush past pain, who don’t pick up on subtle energy shifts, who seem genuinely confused, or annoyed, by my reactions. At first, I thought it was a choice—that they just didn’t want to feel things the way I did. But as I’ve grown, I’ve started to wonder if it’s less of a refusal and more of an inability. Are they emotionally inept, or have they just been forced to shut their emotions down as a survival mechanism?
Why Sensitivity is a Superpower
Let’s start with why being highly sensitive is actually a gift rather than a curse.
Sensitivity allows us to connect on a deeper level, to sense what isn’t being said, and to empathize in a way that others might not. It fuels creativity, intuition, and compassion. It makes us the people who notice the lone person at the party who feels out of place, the ones who pick up on unspoken hurt in a friend’s voice, and the ones who can truly hold space for another’s pain.
If I were to turn down my sensitivity, sure, I might feel less affected by others, but at what cost? Would I also lose my ability to tune into the energy of a room? Would I become less connected to my own emotions, less intuitive in my work, and less present in my relationships?
Sensitivity is not a weakness; it’s a skill—one that, when managed well, brings richness and depth to life.
Dealing With the Emotionally Unavailable
So how do we, as sensitive souls, deal with those who don’t seem to be sensitive at all?
Here are some strategies that I have been using :
Accept That Not Everyone Feels Like You Do
This was a hard lesson for me. I used to assume that if I just explained better, people would get it. But some people simply don’t process emotions the way we do. Instead of trying to make them feel what we feel, accepting where they are at can bring a sense of peace.
Don’t Take Their Lack of Sensitivity Personally
If someone can’t meet you emotionally, it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care. Some people have spent their entire lives suppressing their emotions as a form of self-protection. Their lack of emotional awareness is not an attack on you—it’s a reflection of their own internal world.
Set Boundaries and Manage Expectations
If you know someone struggles with emotional depth, don’t expect them to be the person you turn to when you need deep emotional support. That’s not fair to them or to you. Instead, find those who can meet you on that level and lean into those relationships.
Lead By Example
You may not be able to teach someone to be more sensitive, but you can show them what emotional openness looks like. Sometimes, when people witness vulnerability in a safe and non-judgmental way, it gives them permission to explore their own emotional depths.
Can Emotional Numbness Be Healed?
The bigger question that rolls around in my thoughts is this: Can we teach someone to be more sensitive, or do we simply accept them as they are? If a person has shut down their emotional world as a defense mechanism, would healing their trauma make them more sensitive?
I truly believe that emotional suppression is often a learned survival strategy—an act of safety and damage control. When a person experiences trauma, they may unconsciously decide that feeling deeply is dangerous. If that’s true, then in theory, if they were to access therapies that help them process and heal their trauma, they might regain their ability to feel in a more profound way.
But would they ever be as sensitive as someone like me? Or is there a limit to how much emotional depth a person can reclaim? Would healing make us all equally sensitive, or is sensitivity something that is just innate to some of us?
The Bottom Line
The truth is, we may never know the answers to these questions definitively. But what I do know is this: my sensitivity is not a flaw. It’s not something that needs fixing. And while it can be challenging to navigate a world where emotional depth is often dismissed, I’d rather feel everything than feel nothing at all.
So, to my fellow sensitive souls—keep feeling, keep questioning, and keep showing the world that emotions are not weaknesses. They are the threads that weave us all together.
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