The Sticky Truth About Stubbornness

Why Is It So Hard to Let Go?

Have you ever found yourself doubling down on a belief or decision, even when a quiet part of you knows it’s no longer serving you? That, my friend, is stubbornness—an internal force that can feel like both a shield and a cage.

It’s not always a bad thing. In fact, stubbornness can be a powerful anchor when it aligns with integrity, values, and a commitment to see things through. But when it becomes a reaction to fear, pride, or unresolved emotion, it can harden into resistance—blocking connection, growth, and the abundance life wants to offer.

The Two Faces of Stubbornness

Let’s begin with this: stubbornness isn’t inherently negative. There’s a good kind of stubbornness—the kind that keeps you standing in your truth when everything around you feels uncertain. It’s the quality that fuels persistence in creative work, resilience in healing, and courage in boundary-setting.

But then there’s bad stubbornness—the kind that gets locked in the ego. It’s when we’d rather be right than be at peace. When we hold onto old beliefs simply because letting them go feels like losing control. This is the stubbornness that says, “I’ll dig my heels in here, even if it hurts me.”

It often comes with tension in the body, clenched jaws, shallow breathing, and a flood of justifications. And it can turn any conversation, opportunity, or turning point into a battlefield of resistance.

Where Does It Begin?

Most of us learn stubbornness as children. Perhaps you had to fight to be heard, so being unmovable became your way of claiming space. Maybe you watched adults around you use rigidity as a form of power, and it seeped into your unconscious as protection.

Some of us became stubborn to feel safe in unpredictable households. Others were praised only when they “stuck to their guns” or never changed their minds. Stubbornness can also be a rebellion against being controlled—an early whisper of autonomy gone unchecked.

Over time, the pattern calcifies. We don’t pause to notice why we’re resisting—we just feel the edge rise and armor up.

How Stubbornness Blocks Abundance

Here’s the energetic truth: abundance flows where there is openness.

When we’re stubborn, we unconsciously close the channel. Opportunities pass us by because we’ve already decided what they should look like. Love has no place to land because we’ve fortified our hearts with righteous walls. Creative insight can’t break through because we’ve clung to old ways of thinking.

The universe is dynamic—it responds to alignment, trust, and flow. Stubbornness, when rooted in fear or ego, is a form of energetic stagnation. It says, “I know better,” when life is trying to show us a better way. It says, “I won’t move,” when everything is calling for a gentle shift.

Letting go doesn’t mean surrendering your values—it means staying open to evolution. It means asking, “What am I protecting here?” and “Is this protection still necessary?”

Rewiring the Pattern

Healing stubbornness doesn’t mean becoming passive. It means becoming conscious. It begins with curiosity: What am I afraid will happen if I change my mind? Where did I learn that being flexible means being weak?

We can start to rewire this pattern by practicing softening in the body. By noticing when we’re gripping, defending, or reacting. And by returning to the breath, which never argues—only flows.

Below is a simple 5-minute breath meditation you can use anytime you feel yourself being swept up in stubborn energy.

5-Minute Breath Meditation to Soften Stubbornness

Begin by finding a comfortable seated or lying position. Close your eyes. Let your hands rest gently on your body—one on your heart, one on your belly.

Minute 1: Grounding Awareness

Take a deep breath in through your nose… and let it out slowly through your mouth.

Again, inhale… and exhale.

Feel the weight of your body supported by the earth. Say silently: “It’s safe to soften.”

Minute 2: Tuning In

Bring your awareness to where you feel resistance in your body.

Is your jaw tight? Shoulders raised? Belly clenched?

With each breath, invite a small release. Say silently: “I don’t need to hold this so tightly.”

Minute 3: Flowing Breath

Now shift to an easy, natural rhythm of breathing—in through the nose… out through the nose.

Imagine your breath is warm water, flowing into the rigid spaces, loosening the grip.

Say silently: “I am open to new possibilities.”

Minute 4: Allowing Space

Breathe into your heart space now.

Visualize it softening, expanding.

With each exhale, let go of the need to be right, the urge to defend.

Say silently: “I choose peace over pride.”

Minute 5: Closing Intention

Take a final deep breath in—feeling openness, spaciousness…Exhale fully—releasing what no longer serves.

Place both hands over your heart and repeat silently or aloud: “I am willing to see this differently. I am open. I am free.”

When you’re ready, gently open your eyes.

Final Thoughts

Stubbornness doesn’t make you bad or broken—it means a younger version of you learned how to survive. But you are no longer that child. You now have tools. Awareness. Choice.

The next time you feel yourself digging in, pause. Ask yourself: Is this integrity or fear? Is this helping me grow, or keeping me stuck?

Letting go doesn’t mean you’ve lost. It means you’ve opened the door to more—more peace, more clarity, more abundance.

And isn’t that what you’re really after?